Vampires in the Basement!

When I was young, I had very few nightmares.  I would have a number of scary thoughts, mostly because of a book my fourth grade teacher read to us about witches in America turning kids into pheasants or hot dogs and having out parents eat us.  I had a particularly vivid imagination, so I had a perfect picture of my abductor in my mind.  I slept in a loft bed (think a bunk bed without the bottom bed) and I would hear creepy noises, and I thought it was someone sneaking into my room to kill me with a knife.

I was kinda paranoid.

Anyway, one of the few nightmares I had was about vampires.  I wasn't scared of vampires.  I didn't even believe in vampires.  I didn't even watch or read much about vampires.  My dad showed me two episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and that was about the extent of my contact with vampires.

So, one night, I was laying there, thinking about how a witch would kidnap me and try to turn me into a bird, but I would kick her in the face and run away with her wig.  I didn't really take into account that while I was flexible, and could kick quite high and quite hard, my legs weren't long enough to reach a full-grown woman's face.  Nor did I remember that witches don't take kids from their bedrooms, but hey, that's just details.  So, there I was, planning my defense, until I fell asleep.

Most of my dreams involved either flying or running around underground with my friends.  I particularly enjoy the flying ones.  But no, this one was much more malevolent.  I had to go downstairs into my basement, which if you remember, is quite creepy.  My dream basement was even creepier.  It looked the exact same, but there was this woman there.  She looked regular, but then she grew fangs.  And not the regular fangs that you usually see on vampires, but her teeth turned into freaking drill bits.  You know, the long thin kind that are all twirly and look like they should be on a Christmas tree?  Or is that just me?  But, that kind.  And they were three feet long!  Scary...

Then I died.  Or, woke up.

It was only hours after that, after I'd gone back to sleep and woken up again, that I realized that I should have just grown four feet taller, and sprout my own Christmas-tree-ornament-drillbit-fangs, twice as long as her.  Alas, if only I'd thought of this before the vampire woman killed me.

Anyway, since then, I've been extremely hesitant to go into my basement, and I realized that my basement is host to a variety of creatures.  Now that I'm older, taller, and able to sprout fangs of my own do I dare venture down there alone.

Also, I keep a stake on me at all times.