Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Today, while examining my relatively dismal financial status, I got somewhat peeved.  Not incredibly angry, mind you, just peeved. As my mood shifted from contemplative to peeved, I suddenly became aware of the voice in my head.  y'know, that little voice that speaks your thoughts.  I don't know what deaf people have instead of a little voice, but my little voice suddenly shifted from an American accent into a British one.  Cockney, to be precise, which is very odd because I have a very hard time maintaining a Cockney accent.  I used to be able to put one on with no stress whatsoever, but now I just can't get it right.  It just morphs into another brand of British.
The same thing happens when I try to do an Australian accent.
There are a few different accents that I can just flip on, both in my head and verbally.  The best two accents that I can do are Scottish, although some say that it's half Scottish and half Irish, but they don't know what they're talking about, and I can also do a good Russian one.  I got my Scottish one in Scotland (no duh) when I was visiting my relatives.
I got my Russian one while watching Despicable Me.
I can also take on a few different British accents, ranging in class and "poshness."  Oh yeah, and my Irish accent drives people through the roof.

Now, some might be thinking, "What's the point of these accents?  They don't really affect anything, right?"
Wrong.
With a plethora of believable accents, the average human can fool a number of supernatural creatures into believing that he/she is much more awesome than first appearing.  The greatest weapon that someone can have against an American werewolf, for example, is a solid Asian accent.  Werewolves, as everyone knows, avoid the middle of Asia because of the climate (especially the Mongolian area) and because the natives know a helluva lot more than the average North American, not to mention that they generally are badass at some martial art.  Werewolves, being short-sighted, probably won't be able to tell that you aren't actually from that area because of your image.
Werewolves of other nationalities might not be as easy to fool as American ones (American werewolves are rather dimwitted, and are easily fooled) so a more targeted accent is necessary.  Pick a specific area of Asia, and learn the local history as well as the accent, and you should be able to hoodwink all but the smartest of wolves.
It should be noted that an accent is not like armor.  A werewolf will not turn and run upon thinking that you are from Asia.  Instead, the wolf will hesitate, which will give you the split second to either hit the wolf or run for your life.  If the werewolf looks out of shape, I'd suggest running, but otherwise, whack the wolf over the head, then run.  A disorientated werewolf is a safe (ish) werewolf.

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